Did you ever have a relationship with someone who had really pronounced personality traits…and those traits happened to be what you most admired in them AND what would most drive you crazy about them?

Some examples:

•  Someone who is very passionate about their ideas and beliefs…but at some points they are unable to hear your perspective.
   
• Someone who is wonderfully verbal...but at times you get annoyed that they may not be able to listen as well.
   
• Someone who is full of life living-in-the-moment…but can have difficult time making decisions about anything too far in the future
   
• Someone who is always neat and organized…but has trouble being flexible when you need them to be.
  
  
• Someone who always has insight and solutions for difficult situations…but can’t seem to apply them to his or her self.

We’ve all had these experiences. When the net benefits outweigh the contradictions, the relationship continues. And yet there is always that line that can be crossed where an inherent strength can become an annoyance.

Think of this in terms of your professional life. There are many initial reasons we got into education. And yet how many of those reasons have become a source of frustration for us at times over the years? Again, some examples:

Those of us who truly see the value of being an educator, even in the face of the frustrations, continue to serve in education in different capacities as our careers continue to evolve. We are committed to our work, understanding the pros and cons. Others of us see the frustrations and leave the profession under their mounting weight. Then there are those of us who choose to stay in the profession even though we are frustrated for reasons of self-interest: salary, benefits, retirement.

Is that OK? It depends on who you ask. Certainly as professionals we are aware of our own interests as well as the interests of the greater good. We’re not philanthropists functioning in a vacuum. Still, how long do you stay in a relationship where you’re getting less and less out of it? And when you see other people together in an unhappy relationship, do they look like they’re doing one another a favor? It affects everyone around them.

We all know someone who is still working their job, collecting their paycheck, and not doing anyone any favors. They can be bitter, frustrated, burnt out…and they give us a bad name as a profession. Yet they don’t see the obligation they have to the children, their colleagues and the profession to move on to new work. I am not writing to suggest when or how this decision should be made; it’s a very personal self-assessment-and-decision-making process. But I am saying if you are still in the profession, and you no longer see the net benefits outweighing your frustrations, do a self-check and be aware of how this is affecting you. If you can take a good hard look at yourself and you still see that spark of idealism, that love of children and learning, that drive to make the world a better place, then you are in good stead. But if you realize your words and actions and attitudes impair your ability to be the educator you could and should be, maybe it’s time to ask yourself what you’d like to be doing the next 20 to 30 years. After all, no one wants to spend their life feeling stuck and frustrated.

Still not convinced? Well look at it from a point of self-interest...you owe it to yourself to do a gut check, whatever you decide...and in hindsight, you'll be glad you did.

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