Last night was Back to School Night (BTSN) at the school where my boys spend their days. It’s the fourth back to school night we’ve attended there, and not much has changed over the years. I would imagine that if we went back in time and visited that same school over the last twenty years, not much has changed. Sure, the teachers used a Smartboard to display their PowerPoint and they discussed new technology like iPads and iPods, but I would guess that the message and presentation was virtually the same.

The evening starts out how you might imagine. Hundreds of parents crammed into the cafeteria, a short talk from the principal, a quick game of ‘pass the microphone’ so the specialist teachers can introduce themselves. Then the PTA presidential message about volunteering and we are dismissed to grade level presentations.

There we learn about homework expectations, grading policies, what field trips are scheduled, call for classroom volunteers, etc. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about my colleague Molly McCloskey’s post last year (eerily enough, exactly one year ago). In case you missed it or forgot her message (“the traditional back to school night is really, for me, the epitome of this dysfunction.”), it’s worth a read of the entire post here. Essentially, she says, we need to re-design these opportunities for teachers and school leaders to converse. It shouldn’t be a one way street. And it got me thinking about the number of schools around the country that do BTSN the same way, year after year, and in our world of connectivity and constant changes, the format of this time in schools has been the same since our parents were attending them when we were in elementary school.

When I talked about what back to school night meant to my boys, they were excited to share more about their prep for the big show. “Dad, did you see how clean my desk was? I spent like half an hour cleaning it out,” my older boy told me. Of course, this made me wonder how messy it had become in just three weeks of school. He wrote us a note and we were asked to write him back. His teacher is new to the school and full of energy, which we were enthusiastic about seeing firsthand. In fact, once the grade level presentation was over, we really felt like we got a sense about who she was and her personality. My younger son asked what we did exactly, and when I tried to explain, he said, “That sounds boring.” Can I argue with that?

Both boys wanted us to share more about their other teachers—music, art, Spanish, P.E., and technology. They asked, “Do you meet them too?” Nope—they just got introduced in front of the cafeteria. We were invited to visit with them somehow between the presentations in classrooms, and before 8:30 when we’re reminded BTSN is over via the PA system.

I wondered, “what if these teachers and administrators taught my kids in this fashion?” I know they don’t and I know that they do great things with the students (and yes, if I needed hard data, test scores can back me up). I really try to keep all of these thoughts to myself because I value the opportunity and the exposure to the school but I know we can do better. When I was teaching, one of the principals I worked with told us to tell the parents about you. Talk about why you chose this profession, what your passions are, what you hope to teach their children. Save the homework policy and grading structure for an email.

I have ten more years of back to school nights ahead of me—I would love it if something changed in those ten years. I may be one of the few that view the whole experience as a missed opportunity.